Raising Kids in the Know!: What you can do

Action 4
Know! how to talk early and often about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs

As soon as your child begins to talk, the questions come: "Why is the grass green?" "What's wrong with that man sitting in the park?" If you show your child that you're ready to give answers at any time, even if the topics make you uncomfortable, you'll forge a trusting relationship, and your child will feel comfortable coming to you with concerns because she knows you take her seriously.

Being a good listener also gives you insight into your child's world.
Your child will tell you about the sights and sounds that influence him every day - he's the expert about fashion, music, TV, and movies that people his age follow. Ask him what music groups are popular and what their songs are about, what his friends like to do after school, what's cool and what's not and why. Encourage him with phrases such as "That's interesting" or "I didn't know that," and by asking follow-up questions.

In these conversations, you can steer the talk to alcohol, tobacco and other drugs and why they're harmful.
If you can ingrain this information in your children well before they are faced with making difficult choices, experts say they'll be more likely to avoid rather than use. In fact, teenagers who say they've learned a lot about the risks of drugs from their parents are much less likely to try marijuana than those who say they learned nothing from them. You needn't fear that by introducing the topic of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, you're "putting ideas" into your children's heads, any more than talking about traffic safety might make them want to jump in front of a car. You're letting them know about potential dangers in their environment so that when they're confronted with them, they'll know what to do.

To introduce the topic, ask your child what he's learned about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs in school and what he thinks of them.
He may even mention people who might be using them. If you hear something you don't like (perhaps a friend smokes marijuana or your child confesses to trying beer at a party), it is important not to react in any way that cuts off further discussion. If he seems defensive or assures you that he doesn't know anyone who uses alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, ask him why he thinks people use them. Discuss whether the risks are worth what people may get out of using them and whether he thinks it would be worth it to take the risks. Even without addiction, experimentation is too great a gamble. One bad experience, such as being high and misjudging how long it takes to cross a busy street, can change - or end - a life forever. If something interrupts your conversation, pick it up the next chance you get.

Teachable Moments

Another way to talk about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs is to take advantage of everyday "teachable moments"

• If you and your child are walking down the street and you see a group of teenagers drinking, smoking and hanging out, talk about the negative effects of drinking alcohol and smoking.
• Newspapers are full of the consequences of alcohol, tobacco and drug abuse. Take your examples right off the front page. Ask your child if she heard about the mother who used drugs and was arrested. Who will take care of her baby now? Did she make a good decision when she used drugs?
• Watch TV with your children, and ask them what they think. Do the programs and advertising make alcohol, tobacco or drug use look acceptable and routine, or do they show its downside? When you see a news item involving drug use, point out the story's full implications to families and all of society: Drug addiction can cause or aggravate many tragedies involving child neglect and abuse, family violence and rape, HIV transmission, teenage suicide, and teenage pregnancy.
• Whenever you see an anti-drug commercial on TV, use it as an opening to talk with your children about drugs. Ask them what they think about the commercial. The White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, in conjunction with the Partnership for a Drug- Free America, has embarked upon an unprecedented national antidrug media campaign that will provide many opportunities to discuss drugs with your children.

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