Raising Kids in the Know!: What you can do

Action 2
Know! how to get involved in their activities, know their friends, know where they're going and what they're doing

Parents do not need to feel they are alone in helping their children stay alcohol, tobacco and drug-free. For the first time ever, there are preventive intervention programs that have been proven to be effective and are available to schools, families and communities. (For more information about programs available in central Ohio, call our toll-free hotline at 1-866-999-KNOW.) Children have the best prospects for leading healthy, substance-free lives when schools support parents in their anti-substance message. There should be nothing confusing or contradictory in what children learn about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs from the adults in their lives, and school policies need to reflect the same attitude toward alcohol, tobacco and other drugs that you express at home: Substance use is not acceptable. Drugs diminish a child's ability to concentrate and follow through on academic responsibilities. They cause loss of motivation and absenteeism, and students who use them can be disruptive and drain teachers' time and energy. The best way to ensure that the anti-alcohol, tobacco and other drug policies at your child's school are strong is to be involved.

• Learn about the current policies regarding alcohol, tobacco and other drugs at your child's school. If there's no anti-drug policy in place, attend PTA or curriculum review meetings, or schedule an interview with the principal to help develop a policy. The policy should specify what constitutes an alcohol, tobacco, or other drug offense, spell out the consequences for failing to follow the rules, and describe procedures for handling violations.
• Familiarize yourself with how drug education is being taught in your child's school. Are the faculty members trained to teach about alcohol, tobacco and other drug use? Is drug education taught in an ageappropriate way at each grade level throughout the year or only once during a special week? Is drug education taught during health class, or do all the teachers incorporate anti-drug information into their classes? Is there a parent education component? Is the school's program based on current research?
• Immerse yourself in the school's drug education program at home. Ask your child to show you any materials distributed during or outside class and take the opportunity to review them together.
• Find out if your child's school may conduct assessments of its drug problem. Ask whether these results are available for your district and ask how results have guided changes to the school's program.
• Ask what happens to those who are caught abusing drugs. Does the school offer a list of referrals for students who need special help?
• Request and examine any existing materials. Do they contain a clear message that alcohol, tobacco and other drug use is wrong and harmful? Is the information accurate and up to date?
• Investigate whether your school's drug program is being evaluated for success. Research indicates that some of the most effective programs emphasize the value of life skills such as coping with anxiety, being assertive, and feeling comfortable socially. When these lessons are combined with drug education and media literacy (being able to critically evaluate the media's messages), students confronted with drugs are better equipped to resist them.

Get involved and give encouragement

Young people are much less likely to use drugs when they have something positive to do and when caring adults are involved in their lives. Parents who talk to their children about what's happening in their lives are better able to guide their children toward more positive, skill-enhancing activities. Support your child's involvement in positive activities by participating when you can (bringing water for the soccer team, attending a recital or play, helping with a science project), and praising their accomplishments. No one is ever too old to hear encouraging words or get a hug or a high five for a job well done. Keep in mind, though, that kids usually know when their effort has yielded mediocre result. Choose words that will be accepted as authentic.

• Way to go! That's great.
• I think you have real talent.
• This shows you really understand.
• Do you know how good this is?
• You've made real progress.
• See? Hard work really pays off.
• Is this the very first time you did this?
• Congratulations.
• I can't wait to show this to...
• That is a whole new way of thinking about it...good.
• Can you tell me how you did it?
• I like the way you did that.
• I'm proud of you.
• You are a natural...
• I knew you could do it!
• Aren't you proud of yourself?
• You are a quick learner.
• Well done!
• That part is perfect.
• That is a good solution.
• You are really creative.
• You have great control.
• Good job!

Know! What You Can Do

Your child's transition from elementary school to middle school or junior high calls for special vigilance. Children are much more vulnerable to drugs and other risky behavior when they move from sixth to seventh grade than when they were younger. Continue the dialogue on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs that you began when your child was younger, and stay involved in your child's daily life by encouraging interests and monitoring activities. Use the specific actions below to significantly reduce the chance of your child becoming involved with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Some of these actions, like being sure your child is supervised in the hours after school, may seem like common sense. And some may meet with resistance from preteens who are naturally striving to achieve independence from their parents. But all the measures listed below are critically important in making sure that your child's life is structured in such a way that drugs have no place in it.

• If possible, arrange to have your children looked after and engaged from 3 to 5 p.m. Encourage them to get involved with youth groups, arts, music, sports, community service and academic clubs.
• Make sure children who are unattended for periods during the day feel your presence. Give them a schedule and set limits on their behavior. Give them household chores to accomplish. Enforce a strict phone-in-to-you policy. Leave notes for them around the house. Provide easy-to-find snacks.
• Get to know the parents of your child's friends. Exchange phone numbers and addresses. Have everyone agree to forbid each others' children from consuming alcohol, tobacco and other drugs in their homes, and pledge that you will inform each other if one of you becomes aware of a child who violates this pact.
• Call parents whose home is to be used for a party. Make sure they can assure you that no alcoholic beverages or illegal substances will be dispensed. Don't be afraid to check out the party yourself to see that adult supervision is in place.
• Make it easy for your child to leave a place where substances are being used. Discuss in advance how to contact you or another designated adult in order to get a ride home. If another adult provides the transportation, be up and available to talk about the incident when your child arrives home.
• Set curfews and enforce them. Weekend curfews might range from 9 p.m. for a fifth-grader to 12:30 a.m. for a senior in high school.
• Encourage open dialogue with your children about their experiences. Tell your child, "I love you and trust you, but I don't trust the world around you, and I need to know what's going on in your life so I can be a good parent to you."

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