For any parent who has ever tried marijuana or any other drug, it’s a question likely to make you cringe, “Mom, dad, did you ever do drugs?” But believe it or not, you can actually use your past experiences with drugs or alcohol to your advantage. In a recent national survey, while some parents fear that revealing their past drug use will send their child the wrong message, the majority of teens say they want their parents to be honest and that such openness will help them to be more responsible in their choices.

The conversation could go a number of different ways, but the main point is to make your child feel comfortable listening and talking with you. Remember, you’re not in a confessional, nor are you on trial. Fine details are not required. What is most important is listening, slowing down the conversation, encouraging feedback and communicating so that your child will hear what you’re saying. 

Parents, try something like this:

I tried marijuana because my friends were doing it and I really wanted to fit in. I was afraid they wouldn’t like me if I didn’t join in.

Do you ever feel pressure like that?

Everyone makes mistakes and this was a big one for me. It caused me do some really dumb things too. It’s hard to talk about, but I’m telling you because you mean so much to me. It’s worth me being embarrassed if it will help you make a smarter choice.

And in case you’re wondering, I am not giving you permission to use drugs or alcohol. I am not going to lecture you, but I want you to know I am very against you even trying them.

Source: Partnership for a Drug-Free America: How to talk to your kids about drugs if you did drugs. NY, 2009. CAASA: New Advice to Parents: Tell the Truth About Your Past Drug Use. Oct. 2009.